Following my last post, this is a more personal reflection on how different bravery can look depending on your own experiences.
I have been in a place where just getting out of bed took all I had. Getting washed and dressed could seem pointless as I was on my own. I needed to feel safe at that time so most of my experience of the world outside was through a window. My creative need was still there though. I would notice an image of light out of the window, the rain as it fell, the snow as it blanketed the view in its shroud of white and cold mystery. Beautiful to some but a wall to others. I would see the contrast of hard and soft lighting at different times of the day, the summer shadows and where they fell deepened my view somehow, the change in the seasons like a documentary of the work of the sun.
After a while, another room came into the view of my lens. The kitchen held so many things: its shapes, colours and textures. Then other rooms followed until I had to get beyond the front door. I wanted, needed, to get beyond it. Now this felt more like the Berlin Wall or the Great Wall of China. It would be a massive step to get out into the air, the noise, the smell, the temperature. But worse of all could be the HUMANS I may need to deal with. So, while I battled agoraphobia, I set myself an aim (and also a manageable limit). This was to go 12 paces from the door. This was still OK, I could get back very quickly into the safety of my home. Suddenly I was ‘in’ the view I had been watching, so different, yet so familiar.
So, when you are being brave, make sure you don’t include any self-judgement (what is easy for some is very hard for others), and remember your world of creativity includes indoors!
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